If you are willing to learn how to listen, it will take hard work to learn the skills and constant practice to stay in shape. However, it is all worth it. Remember, people feel relieved when they find someone who understands what they have to say. Once you truly understand others by actively listening to them, they will most likely reciprocate by listening to you and trying to understand your viewpoint. Isn’t that what effective communications is all about?
Fight off distractions. Train yourself to listen carefully despite such external distractions as a ringing telephone, passersby, or outside noises. Focus on words, ideas, feelings, and the underlying intent of others.
Do not trust your memory. Take notes, when appropriate. However, keep your notes brief, because listening ability is impaired while you are writing. All you need to write down is something to jog your memory later so that you can recall the complete content of the message.
Use feedback. Constantly try to check your understanding of what you hear. Do not hear only what you want to hear. In addition, consistently check to see if the other person wants to comment or respond to what you have previously said.
Relax. When your people are speaking to you, try to put them at ease by creating a relaxed and accepting environment. Do not give the impression you want to jump right in and speak.
Listen attentively. Face others straight on, with uncrossed arms and legs, and lean slightly forward. Establish good eye contact. Nod affirmatively and use appropriate facial expressions when called for, but do not overdo it.
Create a positive listening environment. Try to ensure an atmosphere of privacy away from sources of distraction. Do not violate the other person’s “personal space.” Take great effort to make sure that the environment is conducive to effective listening.
Ask questions. Ask open-ended questions to allow others to express their feelings and thoughts. The effective use of questions shows them that you are interested and that you are listening, and it allows you to contribute to the conversation.
Be motivated to listen. Without the proper attitude, all the previous suggestions for effective listening are for naught. Try to keep in mind that there is no such thing as an uninteresting speaker — there are only disinterested listeners.
#1 by Dale Gillham on August 26, 2007 - 9:30 pm
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For many people I believe the message this article is trying to communicate actually falls on deaf ears, yet the message is so profound. In my experience with both internal and external clients is that there is a tendancy to hear the words but not listen to the mesage. I beleive that listening is the most important skill anyone can learn and if mastered then anything is possible.
When I was quite young a wise person said to me that if I happened to be in the company of someone who I admired, respected or someone that I could learn from, then I should keep quite and just listen. I have followed this advice for around 3 decades and still find it exceptionally valuable.
In contrast I find young people that come to work for me, apply for jobs and interact with me on a sales or business level often take the opposite approach which is to thier detriment.
Dale Gillham
Wealth Within Pty Ltd
#2 by Brennan Ryan on August 27, 2007 - 5:04 pm
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My Granny used to say “You have two ears, one mouth. Listen twice as much as you talk!”
I find it hard to listen more than i talk, but when i manage to it always works better for me.
Bren
#3 by Dale gillham on November 17, 2007 - 4:24 pm
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There is a story of a wise owl and and young bird. The young bird said to the wise old owl ‘how did you get so wise?’
The wise old owl replied every day I just sit in this tree and listen, and what I have found is the more I listen, the more I learn about myself, life and about others.
I have also found that the more I talk the less I learn and the less others want to listen to me. There is a profound meaning in the words “Silence is golden” The young bird did not say a word but just sat their thinking about what the wise old owl had just said. To which the wise old owl just looked at him and smiled.
Everyone wants to be heard but not everyone wants to listen. As such good listeners are a rare and valuable commodity. Make yourself rare and you enrich your life.
Dale Gillham
Wealth Within Pty Ltd
#4 by Susan on April 20, 2011 - 11:27 am
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In my youth I was fairly introvert. I learnt in my 20′s that to get where i wanted to be i had to break out of my comfort zone. I did and folks listen, showing confidence inspires confidence.
#5 by Fred Homes on May 18, 2011 - 11:06 pm
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Being a great listener can win you friends, improve your marriage, boost your business profits or advance your career. It can make people feel so good about being with you that they’ll literally follow you anywhere. For being a good listener, you are a person who can find a friend to talk with every time you have a problems or a feeling you have to express. There will be a lot of friends of you who will be willing to listen to you that they will know they can express their feeling or problems too on you anytime.
Fred Homes
Architect
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