This is it folks, the holy grail… Total Customer Satisfaction… TCS for short. Notice its not total customer excellence or any other nonesuch just plain old SATISFACTION.

It’s a part of the Six Sigma quality stuff and it makes sense, after all why would you want total customer DISsatiasfaction? does not compute right….

So making this work can be tricky but should be the overarching aim of ALL business. AND it should be for both the internal and external customers. (staff and the paying customers).

Here’s an example of how not to do it.

Scene: Hospital… Day surgery with an overnight stay. Players… Me and the staff. Date: recently…

Walk in, on time (a bit early actually) wait while one person handles the people waiting… other staff wander through most not happy looking, moving about here to there, paperwork bits flying about, xrays etc… “Who’s is this” “Dunno… ” shuffle shuffle… more papers, more people “NEXT”… That’s me, gave the details, yep I’m on the list, take a seat they will call you through soon. I was wondering who they were and where they were going to come from, people were coming in and going out of about five different doors! I look around, paper signs, reminders if you will, they were dog eared and all needed to be replaced… not a good look. Staff behind the counter seemed all over the place as well.

“Mr Gray…” asked a poilite young lass, “Hi Mr Gray, I’m Alice, this way please” She was nice, I later found out that it was her second day in the facility and she was happy, one other guy was too, he had been there 22 years and loved his job, amongst his first statements to me was “As long as you keep clear of the politics its not a bad place to be.” he says with a wink. A nice guy, shook my hand and held my shoulder for a brief reassuring moment, good.

There was paperwork, I didn’t mind that, I just answered the questions. There was a lady, grumpy looking, needed to have some major work on her attitude and girth!, not a good role model for a healthy lifestyle, she lost her pen more often than she wrote with it, got grumpier as she went.

It’s a surgical facility, beds lined up, curtains flipped back and forth, machines that go “bing” etc. The aneasthetist came in for a chat, good questions, good beside manner, nice guy. Okay yah.. the surgeon came in, fleeting visit, his assistant marks the spot for surgery with a pen (felt tipped!) okay on to the trolley, we’re off, jab in the arm, injection and good night nursey!

Surgery, slice and dice… I will spare you the gory details as I did not see them to tell you anything about it.

Two hours later, up to the ward from the recovery room, I even cracked a few jokes on the way. Hmm should have saved that… not to worry the lass that was assigned to me Nurse R was on the ball, checked out the wound, asked questions, nice and polite.. so far so good, but in amongst the movement in the room (four beds with men in various states of ‘repair’) there were the odd interns, other nursing staff, cleaners, visitors, this place was a veritable high st at noon. Questions were asked of each of us, about things, tea, coffee, have you had your scans, where are your charts? etc.

In the hubbub and shuffling one mans charts did go missing, disappeared for a few hours. (not good!) Customer not staisfied (Dr for one, head nurse for two and patient that makes three all up!) the other guy was not fussed in the bed near me either, his “bag of fluids” was a different brand to what he was used to, “not happy Jan!” they washed out the old one (the new one did not fit on to the existing fittings very well, worried about a leak you see.) I was also worried about a leak, and was handed a plastic recepticle in which to dispense my concerns… okay yah! they want to keep it to see how much, “Just pop it on the trolley next to the magazine you are reading Mr Gray, we will pick it up soon… I hoped no one mistook it for apple juice, although the pharmacist nearly elbowed it over the edge!

On the story goes, on into the night! the night nursey (no names please you might forget…) Was sharp as a pin but delighted in chatting to the other nurseys until 3am just outside the door… “How did you sleep” Mr Gray (on to the chart went restless sleep!) 2am one of the guys wants to get up, no can do, Steve to the rescue, press the nursey button, the nurse walked straight by him and got to me, I sent her in the right direction, was that a faint thankyou from either… no I did not think so… Why didn’t he press his own, could not reach it.

In the morning the cleaners mopped, no sign to say wet floor thanks very much! and no sign of nursey for about 15 mins while it dried. Interns followed the Dr’s and we all heard the plight of this ones bowels, that ones tubes, and this ones stroke and the drama it’s causing… It was amusing, good thing I did not know any of the guys, it would have been a solid breach of privacy in my view (I think it still is!) Lost charts came back, scans taken were sorted out and my Dr paid a cursory visit in the blink of an eye with an asisstant that was not introduced. (names, just more things to remember…)

I got out alive, saw a few sour faces (patients and some of the staff.) and thought that the customer satisfaction was in all a bit LOW.

No doubt there will be a new crew of patients with hopefully a good dose of patience, and a nursey and Dr or two to see after their aliments. I know its a busy world and its spins a bit faster each time I look, but please dear people stop for a moment and create a few more satisfied souls.