In our local paper today we read of a 30 yr old who had taken his life… Sad, and tragic, what made it worse my wife and I had taught this “lad” I remember his boisterousness, his propensity to get in to mischief, his moments of sheer happiness and the odd moment of withdrawl. In the main he was a good kid that went on to pursue a dream in hospitality and became  a head chef in one of our local restaurants after a number of years studying, and travelling overseas. At age 30 it seems too young, but then it happens at many ages.

My thoughts turn to those who had a longer connection with him, as their team leader, boss, mentor, and teacher. Then the company he worked for, how they would be effected by his departure.

What does a company do when someone decides to exit in this way… Were there indicators or signs this was happening? Could they have done anything? Possibly not. What comes next is the effects, the ongoing thoughts that he should be there, that he is not, that he did so much and will be missed, then on to the reality phase of acceptance and moving on.

Question. What would you do? At every phase of the process… What could you say to make things better, to lighten the load, to brighten the moment, to provide support to one and all…

There is no doubt it is a tricky situation and there are people qualified to advise and support better than you or I, however the process starts somewhere. I invite you to say, what if, but say it BEFORE the process kicks in.

What if I could steer people to the right sort of support? What if I could be perceptive to the subtleties of communication that I could see (at least some of) the writing on the wall? What if others had the ability to let me know as the leader of the organisation that things were not okay…? What if I could be strong enough to sit and chat about challenges my people might face personal and professionally? What if I could assist them to build solid foundations in their lives so they could function  effectively and elegantly at higher levels?

For some they lose the way in life through not goal setting enough, for others its about exploring a more open ended approach and being clear of the reestrictions goals might impose. What ever the reason for losing their way we all share some responsibility if we allow ourselves to not be able to act in effective and elegant ways on what is a tragic turn of events for all concerned, near or far.